As a family law attorney in Utah, I have handled numerous divorces. Child custody issues tend to be some of the most heated and costly parts of the divorce procedure. Because the divorce process creates a lot of pain as a once-loving relationship ends between, the children can become victims in the process as either or both spouses choose to focus on themselves rather than on the short and long-term consequences of a heated child custody battle. Because of these concerns, I wanted to share 5 considerations for child custody:
1) It’s all about the children. We are oftentimes inclined to think it is about us and let our judgment be clouded by the difficult situation we are in. Be sure to focus your attention on your children, and what their needs are. Read books. Seek out the input from qualified people, such as school counselors, teachers, therapists, and social workers. Your kids are more resilient than you may think.
2) Try getting along. Many marriage and family therapists have indicated that most well-adjusted children divorced families are those whose parents are able to get along. That doesn’t mean you have to be best friends (you aren’t together for a reason, right?). And it doesn’t mean you always have to give in. But consider benefits your children may experience if you are both willing to put your children’s needs ahead of your personal convenience.
3) Don’t disparage. Almost every case will include a provision prohibiting a parent from disparaging the other parent to the children. And this is for good reason. Your children see themselves as a reflection of both of their parents. When you disparage the other parent, what your children actually hear is that there is something bad about the child. Understanding this will actually help your children’s emotional health.
4) Calendar. Consider using an electronic calendar, like Google, that both parents can have access to and add to. This will help in coordinating the many events, activities, games, and recitals that your children will have. It will help it keeping both of you in the loop so neither parent misses out.
5) Remember the “Golden Rule”. If you would like favors and consideration for flexibility from the other parent, consider doing so yourself. This doesn’t always work, but it is worth a try.
Call a Child Custody Attorney in Utah
With offices in South Jordan and Bountiful, the Utah Divorce Lawyers at Pearson Butler offer free consultations. We also assist with child support and family law issues. Visit our South Jordan and Bountiful office locations by calling us at (800) 265-2314.